Memorial Album
by Judgement Of Tears
Summary: She had lost the pictures to her memorial ablum the day he abandoned and left her. Now she lives, a part of her waiting for her memories to be refilled, the other, wanting to forget...[AthrunXCagalli, much more]
1. Emerald Glint

**Title:** Memorial Album

**Subtitle:** Emerald Glint

**Summary:** One year after the war, Athrun abandoned Cagalli so he could save Mia from death. That night, Cagalli met a car accident, which resulted her in the hospital for a whole month. When she finally regained consciousness, she was unable to remember her past. With an empty memory album, she wanted to fill the missing holes. Yet, in the darkest part of her mind, she wanted to forget…

**WARNING! **If you happen to dislike the summary and hated everything you've just read, please, there's a way out of here. Really. My motto is don't like, don't bother. nn yah!

**Disclaim:** I don't own...T. T only owns me and myself...-sighs-

**A/N:** Hey there! Well, this just happens to be my very first SEED fic, well, to be specific, SEED Destiny. Anywayz, hope you will enjoy and if there's any confusions or grammar corrections and things like that, you're welcome to tell me in your review!

* * *

_(Come, fly with me to the sky. Fly; leave all your troubles and worries. And when you reach the stars, hang your memories there; they will bring you happiness, when I can't…)_

* * *

_"I'm sorry Cagalli…I can't stay…I have to go…"_

"_It's fine, I understand…"_

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_Go…"_

"_Cagalli…"_

"_Please, if you must leave, leave now…it's better that way…"_

"…"

_The young man did not speak further words. He knows he was going to regret this badly. He knew it. Cagalli wasn't giving him a chance to explain what happened, and what's happening now. But he did not have the time either. If he doesn't go soon, a life will be lost._

"_Good-bye…Cagalli…"_

_There. He left. She was all alone now. She was all alone in the darkness of this night. She didn't move even after the door slammed shut. She didn't move until she could no longer hear his fading footsteps. _

_Those footsteps, they were stabbing, cutting at her heart. Making it bleed. And every step he took, those footprints craved deep. The memories of his silhouette, the outline of his shadow, it was all still there long after he vanished into the night. _

_Silently…_

_Slowly…_

_The tears…they were falling._

_She has lost many of her loved ones before. But this was the most painful. She didn't lose him because he had died. She lost him to another, who loves him as well._

_The breaking and shattering of her heart, she could hear it clearly, like crystals at its brightest moments. Along with her tears were the pieces of her soul. _

_/You don't know how much I love you…do you Athrun/

* * *

_

"Hi Kira! Over here!" a girl with amber eyes waved her arm in the air, catching the attention of passengers and another highteen.

"Cagalli! I thought you couldn't make it today." The young man with brown hair strolled over to the girl and embraced her with joy.

"Of course I could! You've been dreaming about this concert ever since I met you in September. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't come." She replied, a smile graced her lips and her blond hair shimmered under the night-lights of the streets.

"I wouldn't mind, and besides, the last time you went to a concert with me, you fell asleep!" He laughed at the image of Cagalli the last time they were at a concert.

"Aww…but it was so dull…and the music they were playing were like lullabies! I couldn't help it!" She reasoned as she always did.

"Well, I'll bet you won't fall asleep this time. Come on, it's about to start. Lacus and the others are already inside." The two entered the large building, laughing and smiling as they continued their conversation.

"Oh whoa, there are a lot of people here." Her amber orbs scanned over the thousands of different faces here tonight, it was definitely a large crowd.

"Yeah, they have a lot of crazy fans, especially one of the male pianist." Kira Yamato, once a coordinator fighting for Earth, now a normal 20 year old. He has turned calmer, quieter, more understanding now. With the lessons learnt from the wars he'd seen and fought, it had changed him.

"Who is he?" Cagalli Yula Athha, once the princess of Orb, now when her aggression and her lost personality is no longer remembered, she is nothing but an ordinary girl, living with no memories of herself, nor of anyone else.

"He…" Kira stopped. He looked over at the blond, wondering if he should mention the other's name.

"What's wrong?" She turned, and titled her head sideways in confusion.

"Oh, nothing. Come on, I found Lacus." He grasped her wrist and pulled her through the crowd, making his way towards the ex-pop star.

"Kira, Cagalli, there you are. Come on, sit down it looks like it's about to start." Lacus Clyne, though she is still as lovely as she was 2 years ago, she no longer has her strong-will and her confidence. Now, she seemed nothing more than an ordinary housewife.

They both sat down on the two empty sits beside Lacus, each looking at different things.

"Glad you could make it." A voice from behind them spoke. Cagalli turned to see a boy with looks similar to Kira's, beside him sat another girl, her own blond hair glittered in the light.

Shinn Asuka, a boy who has lost his family in the invasion of Orb and has always wanted revenge, but that thought has vanished along with the end of the wars. Beside him was Stella Louisser, she is still as quiet as she was, yet no longer was she scared of death or of its mentioning, now that the wars are over, she stayed with Shinn, her lovely violet eyes now glinted with a tint of joy.

"Hi you two, sorry for being late, I had to deal with the traffic." She greeted them before turning back as the lights dimmed.

Shinn had long forgotten his hatred towards Cagalli, knowing the pressure she had being the princess of Orb and how her father had passed away. He understood her father's decision now, and he longer holds hatred neither towards Orb nor to any other allegiance. Without the wars and the division of allegiance and genetic type, he could befriend them now; he could have nice conversations with Kira and ask Cagalli to come walk in the park with him once in a while. No one had to worry about their loyalty towards their country or whom to love.

"Welcome ladies and gentleman, I hope the traffic hasn't given you any trouble in getting here. I hope you are comfortable at where you're sitting because it's going to be a fantastic show tonight. Please close your cell phones and any other digital devices, including cameras. There will be short breaks during the concert and neither pictures nor video cameras are permitted during the show as that might make the artists lose their concentration. There will be a feast at the very end and that is when you can get out your cameras and have snap shots, but as of right now, please enjoy…."

A round of applause rang through the theatre and as the echo slowly faded, the crimson curtains slowly parted. Only pitch black and the faint silhouettes of the people were seen.

Then as seconds ticked by, the music of a violin started. There was nothing but the rhythmic sound of the instrument as the talented young man stood in the centre of the large stage, the music ringed on.

And as times passes, it was now close to the last song.

"I never knew instrumental music is so nice to listen to…" Cagalli leaned closer to the Kira, and whispered lowly, not wanting to disturb all the rest.

"You should listen more often…" The brunette suggested as he turned his attention back onto the performance at hand.

And as the sands of time slipped by, it was now the last song.

"Ladies and gentleman, this song is dedicated to someone the artist has lost a long time ago, so he wishes that the audience would not applause after his piece. Thank you. And let's welcome Athrun Zala." The name of the artist seemed to of silenced the crowd by itself, as there was no sound at all, not even a drop of penny, not a breath of air was heard.

And as the curtains pulled open, Cagalli somehow felt that she knew the name from somewhere but as she flipped through her empty memorial album for anything that was even close to it, she found nothing. She didn't notice, when Kira silently observed the emotions displayed her on face, she didn't notice.

/Do you remember now…Cagalli/

The piano began, with every note of the song; Cagalli was somehow drawn to the music. She could feel herself drifting to the beat. And the instant the light of the stage lilted up and revealed the artist, something inside her mind flickered and breathed alive, she didn't know what it was, but the small dim flame lilted up that darkness around the corners of her mind and chased all shadows out the doors of her memorial lane.

The music was rewarding, it brought peace to her. And as she watched the young man played on, she made a strange wish. She wished he would keep playing on and on forever, so she could forever be in the blessings of his emotions played in to this song. It was a sad song. A song of his memories, and like the host said, it was dedicated to someone who he lost."

_"Good-bye..."_

There it was again. That voice, it keeps on appearing, ringing in her mind. But as to who that voice belonged to, she have no clue. And as the last note was played, it marked the end of this concert. The young gentleman stood up slowly, he did not look at the audience, his eyes were focused onto the ground below him. With a slight bow, he retreated back and out of the sights of the people.

Silence rang on. And in those moments, everyone seemed to be reflecting upon their memories. Of the times of war. Yet to Cagalli, the remaining echoes of the music brought peace to her, it did not bring any sort of pain or sorrow.

_"Listen to the rhythm of the song. That's the thing about artists; they can put their emotions into their work. Through music, they can hear themselves, they can reflect on their memories and by time, they eventually come to understand the depth of emotions. They find the deepest comfort and solace in their music."_

Most had parted from their sits and had now entered the beautiful ballroom waiting silently on the other side. There were tables of two to ten along the walls of the ballroom, with menus decorated in a lovely mixture of colours. The group sat down at a table of 10 and each found someone they were comfortable talking to. Small talk was all around the room, yet Cagalli was alone. She sat beside Kira and Shinn, her amber pools filled with amazement and excitement. She looked all around the room, observing all of the details.

Due to her memory lost, she's become observant. She wanted to fill her mind with as much detail as possible; she hated the white pages of her memorial album.

_"The wars are over Cagalli…"_

That same voice, it was still there.

/Do I only have memories of one person? Why do I keep hearing his voice/

She was confused. For the last 6 months, all she ever remember was that voice. It keeps on appearing and every time it does, it says something different.

"Lunamaria! Rey! What are you two doing here?" Shinn asked all of the sudden, breaking his conversation with Stella.

"Well, the same reason you're here. Came to see the show. And also, see if Athr—I mean, he is improving or not." Kira looked sharply over at Cagalli, hoping that the name did not intriguer her memories too much.

/She didn't look like she remembered anything when the host said his name…I wonder if it's really temporary or permanent…/

"Hi you guys! Come sit down. We got a table of 10 just in case if someone else came tonight." Cagalli greeted the two newcomers and pointed to the sits across from Lacus, gesturing them to sit with the rest.

"Aw, arigato Cagalli-san!" The dark-pink haired girl said in a playful way and pulled Rey over to sit beside her.

Not long after wards, everyone ordered their wanted meal and they have finally arrived. While digging into the delicious food, a hand landed on Kira's shoulder. He turned to look and a smile graced his lips when a young man with midnight blue hair appeared before him.

"Hi Athrun…"

At the mentioning of his name, Cagalli too, turned to see the famous pianist. And the instant emerald clashed with gold, pictures seem to flash by quickly inside her mind. The overload of memories was painful, and her head started to ache and with every second passing by, she felt dizzier and dizzier. Her vision became blurry all of sudden, not from the dizziness…but from tears.

* * *

**_To Be Continued…_**

* * *

**A/N:** Well that was rather…a weird place to end. I was actually supposed to end at the "War was over…" part of her memories, but…heh…plans can always be changed. And also, no I am not pairing Kira with Cagalli, those moments that looked like they were a couple, were just brother and sister-hood. k? Yeah, and um...I think that's about it.

For those of you who haven't watched Gundam Seed Destiny, Shinn Asuka is a coordinator on the side of ZAFT, he pilots the gundam impulse, aboard the Minerva ship. Stella Louisser is a Neutral on the side of the Earth alliance, she controlls the Gaia gundam...I think...yeah. And Lunamaria and Rey are pilots aboard the Minerva ship as well. They are friends with Shinn. This story takes place after the war that happened in Seed and in Seed Destiny.

And also, another point, I know Cagalli is totally OOC but that's just how it is, she lost her memories and she can't remember her own personality. But she will eventrally turn back to her old self a little bit later into the fic.

Hope that was enjoyable for you! Don't sue me...instead, review! n. n it's much easier and doesn't cost money. Heh...bi!


	2. Remember To Forget

**Title**: Memorial Album

**Subtitle:** Remember to Forget

**Summary:** One year after the war, Athrun abandoned Cagalli so he could save Mia from death. That night, Cagalli met a car accident, which resulted her in the hospital for a whole month. When she finally regained consciousness, she was unable to remember her past. With an empty memory album, she wanted to fill the missing holes. Yet, in the darkest part of her mind, she wanted to forget…

**Disclaim:** Okay, since I don't want to do this every chapter, because it breaks my heart, this will be the last time I'll be saying this. I don't own…-sniff-

**A/N:** Thank you to all those that reviewed! I love you all! n. n And now, here is the second chapter that you've all been waiting for!

* * *

**_(Memories, how unfortunate to have them…yet, I don't want to lose the image of you…)_**

* * *

"_My name is Cagalli, what's your name?"_

"_You promised me you would stay! You promised…"_

"_I don't want to shot, but I can't let you go and take that machine. It can kill a lot of Earth people!"_

"_The hell with you!"_

"Cagalli? Cagalli…please wake up…Cagalli?"

The girl upon the painfully white bed did not move or even finch. She laid motionless, her skin had turned pale over the night and her heartbeat had weakened.

"Come on Cagalli…wake up…"

_"I'll protect you"_

"_If you go for my gun, I'll have no choice but to kill you. So don't even think about it alright…"_

"_Don't worry, I'll be here…"_

"_Are you crazy! Throwing a loaded gun like that!"_

/Who is that…who is he? Why do I keep hearing his voice/

Millions of questions flew pass her mind, as she sat there in the darkness, not a trace of light could be seen. While on the outside, she was unconscious.

_"Cagalli, remember the first time we met?"_

"_Of course! How could I ever forget? I still haven't forgiven you for mistaking me for a guy."_

"_Hey, don't blame me. You're the one that attacked me first."_

"_Hmph!"_

"_I'm so glad to of met you…"_

/Why can't I remember…/

She could feel tears trail down the side of her cheeks; the droplets reached the floor and the sound of it echoed. There was a dim blue aura around her tears, and it gave her light in this pitch black.

_"I'm sorry…"_

The voice faded away. But before everything could fade into blackness, an image flashed by. She see blurry, a young man with blue hair. His eyes are unclear but he was wearing a black jacket. And than beside him, appeared another boy, with short brown hair, he was closer and had purple eyes. She'd recognise that it was her brother, and than when the image started to slowly fade, she'd see Lacus as well, but she was wearing a blue and white summer dress, she looked much younger, much brighter, much happier. And than everything vanished into darkness.

"Kira…" A gentle, soft voice called out.

"It's okay Lacus…I'm fine…" The young man replied, still not taking his eyes off of his sister.

"No you're not, you haven't had a proper sleep in a week. Come Kira, you need to rest." She sat down next Kira, and replied in a more demanding tone, which surprised the brunette.

"Lacus is right Kira, go get some rest. I'll watch over her." That familiar voice helped Lacus in convincing Kira to get some shut-eye.

"Don't you." The twin brother of Cagalli, sighed as he turned away from his sister to look at Athrun, "Just…promise me that you won't leave again…Athrun…"

Kira knew the reason his sister got into that car accident, but he also didn't blame Athrun, he was only trying to save Mia Campbell's life. Yet, now, he felt unsure whenever he had to leave his sister under the blunette's care when before, he didn't even think about it.

"Kira…" Lacus looked worriedly at the two, knowing their friendship isn't holding on.

"No, promise me first Athrun…"

"That, I can promise you when she's asleep…when she can't see me. I don't want to be the one to bring back her memories. I don't think she would want to remember…" Athrun Zala, the one who used to be so sure of his ideas, so strong when he was speaking. Now, he could barely talk above a whisper.

Kira could only stare at his once best friend. It was obvious what Athrun was holding back. He stilled loved her…

"Athrun I—"

"It's okay Kira. I understand."

"…" Kira lowered his head, and stared down at the floor.

So much has changed. Athrun knew he could never give Cagalli the happiness she deserved. So instead of bringing back the painful memories, he could only watch her from afar. Cagalli was much happier without her memories, anyone could see that. She was finally smiling, laughing like a normal person. She was so much more carefree now…no worries of her country, of him, or of anything else. She deserved that kind of life. Athrun forced his mind to be happy for her, yet his heart sank. It broke. It was broken long time ago, and it healed a bit, but it could never refill that empty hole where Cagalli once were.

"A…Alex…" All eyes turned to the patient on the bed.

She had just murmured out his fake name. The name he used when he was still Cagalli's personal bodyguard, but that was two years ago, how can she still remember?

And as time ticked by, her eyes began to flutter. As soon as they were motioned to open, Athrun exited the room and leaned against the wall outside, knowing Cagalli can't see him again, or else her conditions would get worse.

"Kira…" That was the first person she saw as she regained conscious.

"Cagalli! I'm so glad you're okay. How are you feeling?" The brunette rushed to her side with Lacus following close behind.

"I…I'm fine…I just have a bit of a headache is all…"She replied softly, her voice was weak and held little strength.

The blond-haired girl tried to get up but was held down both Kira and Lacus.

"You need rest Cagalli…please don't try to get up so soon…" Lacus's gentle voice told her the instructions given by the doctor a while back.

"Oh…" She looked around, and saw the machines attached to her arms.

"W-where am I? What happened?" Cagalli turned to the two currently in the room, curiosity and little bit of panic surfaced in her eyes.

"Don't worry Cagalli, you just blacked out and…yeah…" Kira knew it was best to not tell her why she went unconscious; after all, he knew Athrun wanted Cagalli to be happy, and so did he. And the only that was going to happen is if she never remembers…

* * *

**That night**

* * *

"Lacus, you should go home. You can come over tomorrow." Cagalli tried her best to convince the pink-haired princess to go but she refused. 

"Mm…Kira told me to get someone to stay with you tonight and since everybody went home, I'll stay myself." She smiled up, and replied.

"But…Lacus…"

"Don't worry Cagalli, I'll be fine, I'm not like Kira who doesn't sleep…" She reassured the blonde as plopped a chair beside the bed.

"Thank you…" lacus just smiled in return.

After a few moments of silence, Cagalli decided to speak again.

"Lacus…I…I've been having these pieces of flashbacks…it's nagging at me all day…" Lacus frowned lightly at this, before she hesitantly questioned.

"What have you been you seeing?"

"Well…the strange thing is…I…I see you and Kira and another boy…except you two were younger…" Lacus made no sound, she knew at that instant that the memories will eventually come back to Cagalli when after so long, she remembered nothing.

"And…you were in a summer dress…and the other one had short sapphire hair, I couldn't quite see him as well as the two of you…" The once strong-willed pop star of PLANT listened to every word that came out of Cagalli, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Lacus? Why do I see you two? Have we met before the car accident?" She wanted answers, and even though she'd lose her memories, she never lost her stubbornness.

"Cagalli…I…I don't think it's a good idea to tell you that…" Lacus had her head low, and her eyes found interest on the floor below.

"Why not? Don't you want to help me regain my memories?" By this point, Cagalli was confused, She'd thought all along that all her friends were trying to help her but now she wasn't so sure about it.

"I don't think you would…want to remember Cagalli. Your past, i-it's not exactly pleasant…and yes, we have met before…Kira…we think that it's best if you let your memories go, sometimes it's fortunate to not have memories…" She'd stutter along the way, and tried her best to explain to the blond-haired girl yet not giving anything that would trigger her mind.

"But Lacus…it wouldn't be all bad right? I can't have every single moment of my memories be painful…I must have had some happy times…right?" She had panic raise in her heart; her past was a painful one? She doubted a bit, does she really want those memories now?

"Yes of course you had, but those moments never lasted long…and they were always followed by anguish and agony…" Upon hearing that happiness existed in her memories that were once in her memorial album, Cagalli was more relieved.

"It doesn't matter Lacus. Those might be one of the most happiest moments in my life, and I don't want to let this chance of remembering slip by…I want to remember, even if most of the times it's painful, but I can always heal from those wounds…"

"But Cagalli…what if…what if in your memories…you remember somebody that you loved dearly…what if…. you remembered him…leaving you?" She was hesitating so much that it took about a minute to finish that sentence.

/leaving me…/

_"I'm sorry Cagalli…I have to go…I can't stay…"_

"_Mia…her life is in danger and I don't go, she'll…die…"_

"_No, Cagalli, I-I never want to leave you but…I have no choice…"_

"_Please try to understand this…"_

"_Cagalli…"_

"STOP IT!" Cagalli shook her head furiously, trying her best to get rid of that voice, while messing up her blond hair at the same time.

/That must be him, the one I was in love with. /

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER YOU!"

"Cagalli! Cagalli calm down! Cagalli!" Through the thick voices inside her head and buzzing through her ears, she could hear the distant calling of Lacus and focusing on her gentle voice, she tried to pull herself out from this pool of stained memories. All these words, they were stabbing at her heart, making it bleed. Yet she did not know why…

"Cagalli! Are you okay?" She has never seen Lacus act so frantic.

"I…I'm fine…" Finally, she had settled down, the voices faded once again.

"Oh god…I knew I should of never mentioned anything to you. Please Cagalli, you're happy now aren't you?" Lacus looked at her, hoping she would now know what she had. Hoping she wouldn't let this new life of hers pass her by…hoping she won't want to remember…

"Yeah…you're right. I am happy now…I don't need my memories…" She smiled up at the blue-eyed girl, and seeing that, Lacus gave a relief sigh.

"I don't want to remember…" It was spoken like a whisper in the wind, she'd watch Lacus slowly fall asleep by her bed, and than silently, tears once again trailed down her face.

Even when she didn't want to remember no more, one by one, the pictures still filed into her memorial album. She had no choice on the matter…she wasn't sure if she was trying remember…or trying to forget…

"Athrun…"

* * *

_**To Be Continued…**_

* * *

**A/N:** OoooooOOoooooo, suspense. ;3 bhahaha…evil me. 

Well, I hope the second chapter was just as good as the first! XD My writing skills are lowering…I can feel it going away…WAAH! –sniff, sniff-

Anywayz, I know, Cagalli was OOC when she talked to Lacus...but please keep in mind that she _did_ lose her memories...

Okay then, be back here next time! RnR! Luv ya!


End file.
